Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
