i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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