i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
