My balls are so social today.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
