i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
