he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
well you can't waste a boner
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
