Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
