Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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