I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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