I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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