I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
