Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
