i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
