Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
