You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize