I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
