i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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