Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
