i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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