I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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