the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
