she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
