At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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