Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize