Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period

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(503): View more from Oregon

She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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(903): View more from Texas

I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"

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(226): View more from Ontario

I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

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(802): View more from Vermont

he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife

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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex

(312): View more from Illinois

I was drunk

(312): View more from Illinois

Please answer

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(718): View more from New York

I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"

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(618): View more from Illinois

I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.

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(253): View more from Washington

Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.

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