His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
