You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize