So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
