Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize