the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize