I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
