shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
