How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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