I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Please don't give away my fajitas
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
