the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
