The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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