So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
A bitchslap is in order.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
