It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
