Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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