btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
