He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize