I love black thongs
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
