she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
