If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
