When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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