do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
