10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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