what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
