thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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