I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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