Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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