The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
