Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
