Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
