you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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