a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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