she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He passed out mid-signature
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
