isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sober January is a disaster.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize