More tranny stories later!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize