these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
