Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
