There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
