Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
