Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
