I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
