Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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