I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Farmville is her only friend.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
