exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
try to milk me bitch
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