i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
