Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am available for nakedness
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
