the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
