is your mom at the bar?
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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