Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
