A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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