just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
