Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I want to be your penis for a week.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
