How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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