Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize