Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
