Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
did you just send me my own nude
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Holy shit dude........stairs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
